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Writer's pictureSue Turbutt

The Twelve Gonks of Christmas…


So the first Christmas Market of the year has come and gone and many, many, MANY more to go. Amid cries of ‘has it really only been a year since the last one?’…I find myself embracing the behaviours I swore that I would never embrace again – basically mindlessly buying anything and everything.


Naturally I go with super good intentions of buying gifts for others… yet find myself in the curious position where my purchases all turn out to be for me. It’s a curse! But, hell, ‘I’m worth it slash life is too short’ (which is my default position for most things I know I shouldn’t be doing these days!).


Furthermore, there is much that I need to distract myself from this year. What with the cost of living crisis, the whole world feeling as though it’s on strike and, crucially, that there may be no Bounty bars in tubs of Celebrations going forward. The latter has almost sent me over the edge…


I tested other distractions and took a trip to Kew Gardens – highly recommended by the way – where Mr T and I tried to impress the proper horticulturists by just squealing every time we saw a name we recognised – ‘oooh look at that …err….geranium – awesome leaf pattern’ #fakeittilyoumakeit


That said, I did manage to find a Pigs in Blankets cookbook in the gift shop – trust me, it’s a game changer!


So back to those Christmas Markets.


Jokes aside, it’s fabulous to see and support local businesses who are authentic, unique and have held their nerve during the last two years of pandemonium.


After being plied with mulled wine and mince pies I make my way round the stalls, enchanted and bewitched by ‘stuff’ which I know I don’t want, but then discover that I actually REALLY need.


As a nod to the festive season, let me state my mindless purchases this year through the medium of song…


At the twelfth Christmas Market


I went and bought for me

Twelve tacky snow globes

Eleven elves on shelves

Ten nets of walnuts

Nine light up jumpers

Eight tinsel garlands

Seven mince pie bath bombs

Six Antler headbands

Five… Nordic Gonks…

Four velvet bows

Three chocolate coins

Two angel wings

And a diffuser that no one will see


So off I schlepp to the next Christmas Market…has it really only been 4 days since the last one...

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